Battles

"Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. So they're likely carrying weapons."
The Bloggess, aka Jenny Lawson

And this is a dogfight. Was my show on crosses all week and they have been effective. Very. Real kudos from defense counsel and Client ready to put me in charge and I'd do it but for the damaging optics, so I'll just stew. I am pissed about the lack of communication, support and at myself for putting career on hold. The evidence is in, we got final instructions, just need to hit it on close, so where the fuck is everyone ?

No exercise all week except blessed Friday yoga. 90 minutes of Pradeep to slow down my mind. Thank you for being here, welcome home indeed.

Saturday, work all day on M's closing, the one client was practically begging me to do. It sucks and does not have to. Basically tell everyone to fuck off at 10:30 pm and that wakes everyone up for Sunday, where it is a reasonably productive day once M leaves.

Monday clusterfuck. Go from 7:00 am until 2:00 am getting closing together. Guys, we could have done this better.

Tuesday
Closings go reasonably well. But defense counsel hits it out of park on his overview. Its back to the office, nervous. Go until 1:00 am making new slides with jury consultant and graphic artist. The three of us are locked in creating and editing on the fly. Others are spinning in and out, freaking out barking at each other but we are tight and focused and by 1:00 am we have a very very good presentation.

Wednesday.
They are not as good as I thought they would be. They are fumbling a bit. Their slides are going up and we have a response for everything. Really pretty remarkable how well our rebuttal will debunk their 75 minutes of venom.

They finish and we have 10 minutes to gather. Into the stairwell that has functioned as a courthouse conference room for the last six weeks. I look at M and simply tell him everything he needs is right there, in his hands, in the computer. He just needs to deliver. There is no question in anyone's mind that I'm the one who should be doing this, but ya gotta finish what you started.

We debunk in 30, goes very very well.

Jury goes out. We are trying to get organized, clean up and get out but just spent, both sides walking around in a daze. Lead defense counsel and his second chair both shake my hand, tell me they could see my hands all over our presentations, and are very complimentary.

Into my office for the first time in a week and a half. Poke at other things, talk to clients, shore up the bubble gum and baling wire.

Head out at 4:15, gonna get to MH meditation and yoga. Slow down my mind. Or try, the first two jury questions come in, we will be back in the morning.

Get to class. Breath is shallow and balance sucks. But there are remnants of a practice, just going to have to be patient. Flushed with endorphins for the first time in weeks, come up with the perfect slide for close. This is why I wanted time to think.

Thursday
Up early and big two hour scramble to get to court. We are arguing until noon, but what is going back into the jury room is really good for us.

Not thinking about iron yet. Need to get breathing right and get balance back. In for EH at 4:45. Better. Not much, but better.

Home, Brigid has band concert. Walk in and C says she is waiting for text at intermission and we'll go. C gets on the phone and I hear nothing. Text Brigid directly at 8:20, it's been over for ten minutes and she is upset. Fly over to school to get her. She is really pissed and distressed that C did not respond to her texts is one thing, but her band teacher forced her to put a velvet bag over her jeans and wear too small shoes because Brigid was not dressed properly. She was told by this teacher in front of everyone else that she looked ridiculous but no one would be able to tell from a distance.

Pretty much lose it.

New plan. Get up Friday morning, fuck going in to office. Find a house on the river for the weekend. Shop. Sit on side of road and work.

Take Brigid, Barry and Rose and go. By 5:00 we are in the redwoods, on the river. B is having a burger and milk on the deck in the sun. We roll into town for ice cream, come back and play Trivial Pursuit. And listen to birds outside; by 10:00 pm its a rustling punctuated by the occasional heron scream. She looks at me and says this was the best idea ever.

Better.

Get up. Sit on the porch. They are up at 11. Spill down into the boats and up the river for swimming, pushing Barry around in the water. The BG is in full squalor and we get chased off the private beach across the river where they all end up any way.

Anne comes up, we bar b que and play three rounds of scrabble.

Body chemistry feels normal again. Start Monday with some lightish long cycle ladders, nothing heavier than 24's. That'll do, make it enough.