Lou

"Here he comes, he's all dressed in black
PR shoes and a big straw hat
He's never early, he's always late
first thing you learn is that you always gotta wait
I'm waiting for my man"
Lou Reed

The Velvets were before my time.  The first I heard Lou was '73 - Rock n' Roll Animal.  I was 14.  Steve Hunter and the twin leads blew our adolescent minds and we imagined our lives were saved by rock and roll before they had even begun.

We fell into good taste; if you liked anything in SF in the early '70's it was probably very very good.  We suffered through Berlin and dug Sally Can't Dance and flipped for I love You Suzanne and listened to Lou's tunes turned up loud, but from afar.  He did not come out to the west coast much, or at least if he did he was drowned out by the west coast and southern bands that came to Winterland and associated venues far more frequently.  I don't know if Lou pissed off Bill Graham; I'd not be surprised if he did.

My appreciation for Lou came later; after Garcia had died and those southern bands had slipped to the county fair circuit.  He'd never done that, if he sold out it was temporary - we all gotta eat.

Now those southern bands have spawned a boatload of talent and the Americana folk, jam grass scene is bright as the ringing mandolin over the top.  But Lou never had use for that.  He had no interest in legacy.  There may be bands east of the Mississippi that can draw a line however indirect to Lou but they've not made their way out here.  The only guy who draws that line, and it is a straight one, is Alejandro Escovedo and he is only ten years younger than Lou.  More miles than money as Al observes wryly.  I saw Al at Slims shortly after Lou died.  He sang Gravity and Sweet Jane and some guy put it on YouTube and you can see B's head, and mine, popping in and out of frame lower left for which I am grateful now and will be more so as the years go by:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrXib-W95AQ



I can't get over Lou's death.  He is not fading warmly into the recesses of memory like George or Jerry or Phil Everly or Pete or any of the list that have gone before him.  He never took a victory lap; never sought elder statesman status.  He was good in his community, clearly dug it.

No, now I find old recordings of Lou and still turn them up loud.  I turn them up loud and throw heavy metal.  He's at the top of my playlist and won't get off.  I listen to all the heavy metal I used to enjoy during a heavy set and it sounds like shit so I put Lou on.  And it sounds great.  Hope the Marin county suburbs can hang, because they're going to keep hearing Lou loud for a piece here.

http://www.eyeneer.com/video/rock/lou-reed/im-waiting-for-my-man

What's So Funny About Peace, Love and Understanding . . .

"If we took just five minutes to recognize each other’s beauty instead of attacking each other for our differences—that’s not hard, it’s really an easier and better way to live. And ultimately, it saves lives. Then again, it can be the hardest thing—because loving other people starts with loving ourselves and accepting ourselves. And I know many of you have struggled with this, and I draw upon your strength and your support in ways that you will never know.  And I am here today because I am gay. And because maybe I can make a difference to help others have an easier and more hopeful time. Regardless, for me, I feel a personal obligation and a social responsibility. I also do it selfishly, because I’m tired of hiding. And I’m tired of lying by omission. I suffered for years because I was scared to be out. My spirit suffered, my mental health suffered, and my relationships suffered."
Ellen Page, 2/14/14.

Brigid came out on 2/14/13.  This was not news to me, but it was a big deal for her at the time.  She promptly cut her hair off, gave up on wearing anything feminine, and has generally been a lot happier since.  I am happy to buy her Axe products and say nothing when she steals my boxer briefs.  (This is an interesting twist on what must occur in most households in which an 18 year old girl lives; only she is stealing mom's lingerie, instead of Dad' s boxer briefs.  I like my life better.)  Wherever we go she is mistaken for a young man which bothers me more that it does her.

So when the twittersphere erupted a couple of days ago when Ellen Page came out I was a bit baffled about the hullabaloo, but it seemed sweet and cemented my fondness for Ellen Page.  She is smart and articulate and I did tear up quite a bit during her talk, and appreciated her insights.

I am less fond of the hate legislation being passed in Kansas.  More than one person is going to die as a result of such cruelty.

We need an army of Ellen Pages, as well as an army of enraged parents, teachers, politicians and just plain folk.

At any rate, I asked Brigid if she'd watched Ellen's speech and she said she hadn't.  She looked at me incredulously and said:  "God Dad, what did you think, that's news ?  My gaydar went off immediately when we watched Juno."

We watched Juno in 2008, when Brig was 12.

Huh.

It troubles me that she had to struggle with her identity for so long.  But she's out now and that's what matters.

Fuck you Kansas.  That's a father talking.

High Tension Wire

"An eight ball baby and a jug of wine . . ."
Danny Barnes

December 1, 2012 I was sitting outside the locked door of the office at 44 Montgomery with Brigid and 15 bankers boxes of files.  I'd walked away from colleagues of the last 14 years, and moved what I imagined was my "practice" and it was now scattered around the hallway in front of the locked suite.  We'd been given the wrong suite key, so stuck.  Brigid:  "they're really rolling out the welcome wagon for you aren't they dad ?"

It got better and 2013 was the best of my professional career.  Yoga practice shrank to almost non-existent by the end of the year.  But threw the iron around, a lot, and arms and shoulders are absurdly large. I feel like Gimli when he drops the chain mail over his head in the Two Towers. Everything is a little tight.  Yes, you do have the time.

I don't know if 2014 will work out as well; I'll stress about it.  But I'll never again be crippled by self-doubt and afraid to make a move.  Gotten used to being a high tension wire . . .

Pete

"This machine stamps out hate and forces it to surrender."

"Here's to the cheshire, here's to the cheese . . ."

"Green and yeller, green and yeller, mother be quick, I'm gonna be sick and lay me down to die . . ."

"I learned that murderers die for their crimes, even if we make a mistake sometimes . . ."

"They never had such a supper in their life while the little one's chewed on the boneso, boneso . . . "

RIP Pete; we'll never stop listening.

2014

"Making something out of nothing with a scratch and our hope
With two old guitars like a shovel and a rope"
Shovels & Rope, Birmingham

Just finished the 11th day of Dan John's 10,000 swing program.  The 24kg is flying up like a (iron) balloon, but he says the worm turns at day 12 which is tomorrow, after the 8:30 settlement conference and before the Tuesday trial.  I am skeptical, I'll finish this program cause it is good for the grip and conditioning but I don't believe it'll suddenly get harder.  Its hard, but no too and that's enough.

2013 marks the best year I have ever had, financially and professionally.  Stronger, no doubt but the yoga practice has suffered.

At the start of 2014 the shoulders are large, the beard is grey.  Blood pressure is elevated, dog is gimpy.

Don't fuck it up.