Outside

"Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them--if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry."
J.D.Salinger,The Catcher in the Rye
Don't even try.
Thursday, bad day, alternately pulling folks from,and then pushing them over the cliff.  Will fix it next week.  200 swings and some snatches with Cinco in evening.  Understand trainers'  frustrations; walk don't run.
Friday, better.  Staying above the fray, telling people what they need to hear, not what they want; it would be far easier and more lucrative to do otherwise.  Will not do what eight out of ten would do; either morally intact or incredibly stupid and time will not tell because its done.  But sleeping well and would not be otherwise.
Two miles and training session with Tiffany C, who insisted upon providing a freebie out of some guilt over missing an inconsequential seminar last September.  Had written off most of the E. trainers on Kbells.  Mistake.  She has been there a long time and knows her stuff and was sore this am like I have not been sore for a long time.
Today, 2.5 hour Burdell walk.  Sunshine and showers.  To Hidden Lake, frogs loud to the left, hawk screams to the right.  Camera battery dead.  Rose joyful.  Beautiful day.
Same season, same kind of day, last year, Coopers' and Redtail battle.  Caught four good shots, above the best.  Nothing like being outside, whether on the edge of the cliff or not.

Folk Music and Jackals

"We'll always love you but, that's not the point"
The Roche Sisters, Hammond Song

If you don't know it, check it out here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9e3sqtoRG-Y 
This guy Pattinson, WTF.  Apparently he is one of these young Hunks that junior high school girls swoon about.  'Cept Brigid, who went to the most recent Twilight movie with a pack of eighth grade girls (one of her sporadic attempts at conformance) and came back with the following review:  "that is the stupidest movie I have ever seem; really it was worse that the last three Star Wars movies."  We love that girl, right down to her weird toes.
But apparently Pattinson was in some Indie film and they used Hammond Song someplace in it and as a result, it got a shit load of attention on Itunes.  And it should.  It's a great tune.  Only siblings could get harmony like that going and they should be treasured and ya' gotta believe that it was more than the Hunk that compelled hundreds of thousands of youngsters to seek out the Roche Sisters' genius and pay .99 (or 1.29, I'm confused) for real Art.
Fucking grind of a day.  Hard, complicated, subtle, needle threading situations in uncharted territory; these are troubled times and there is no road map; nothing except gut reactions and faith in them to get us through to the next clear patch, gotta bring it home and the only solace is getting better at it.  Clearly.  For today, anyway.
Monday, five miles in the am, then:
10 TRX crunch to push-ups
10+10 TRX Bulgarian Split squats
5+3 24kg press to 32kg push press
10 16kg bootstrap squats
3x
25 24kg swings
for first 4x, to TRX Y,W,low, 5x each
Second 4x, highwoodchoppers 10 +10
200 swings total.
Tuesday
Three miles, 60 min Yoga, first class in 12 days, fucking clod like in half moon.  MH totally supportive.
Today:
Client grind until 6:30.  Comments on Bank President, "David, great meeting, he does not swing kettlebells."  The confluence between fitness obsession and professional life is becoming clearer; I know they feed off each other, still trying to articulate.  The list:
15 TRX push ups, thought a box was hard, these are ass-kicking.
10+10 TRX Bulgarian split squats
5+5 24kg clean to press, 3+3 32kg clean to push press
10 24kg Goblet squats
3x
10+10 16kg windmills
2+2+2+2 24 kg TGUS
15 Y,W, low, TRX pulls
10+10 TRX low to high woodchoppers
8:50 boat, three folk videos:  Tom Rush, No Regrets, gold since 1976.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pxEKfEBOWM
/watch?v=9pxEKfEBOWM
Guy Clark, Magdalene, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B2rQr5Vudg
Aforementioned Hammond Song.
Roll in at 9:45.  Kids crowding round, Jackals with cash demands.  This is really good, bonfires and cinders all around.

Sport Bells and Mud

"Merry and tragical! tedious and brief!
That is, hot ice and wondrous strange snow."
A Midsummer Nights Dream


Rose's pleasure, and Brigid's treasure, which is, of course, frogs.
No yoga and only 13 miles last week, sucked but lotsa kettlebells.
Wednesday, five miles in the am and 20 minutes of swings with Cinco before Brigid's basketball game where she scored five and put on a defensive clinic in a losing effort.
Thursday, three miles, forget the rest, emails coming in and gotta keep it going.
Friday, early morning circuit training like this:
15 hindu pushups
20 box squats, body weight, then 10 squat to press, 2 16kg


3,2,2, c & p 24kg, last 2 32kg push-press TRX split squats
3x


25 24kg swings
15 TRX rows, Y, W
30 second TRX mountain climbers
10+10 TRX woodchoppers
3x
Easy on the bells cause four hour clinic saturday.  JH and her wild haired client, stop to say: "it makes us very happy to see you in here all this time swinging kettlebells."  Yeah, it makes me happy too, and thanks for sayin' so, makes a middle aged man feel good.
Saturday, four hour GS clinic with JWB for Haitian relief.  He is a good man, got me close on the jerks, but reaffirmed the preference for hard-style.  Its simple; hard and explosive.  Feels right.

Home by 5, Brigid is still in her pj's looking bored.  "Can we go on a hike ?" as I am eyeing the sofa.  "Gonna be dark on the way down"  "Good !"  So off we go, muddy as hell but Rose is going ape shit and we are talking about how beautiful it is, why did I even think twice.
Up this am, made a date to go again before the Costco run and Ian's play, head to Hidden Lake to listen to the voices of about two thousand frogs, so loud it pierces the skull.
But its dumping, and we are not prepared for that long a walk in the pouring rain and so are content with seventy minutes on the two trough loop.
Ian's play, those kids having so much fun.

Unstable Conditions

 

"And let the sun set on the ocean
I will watch it from the shore
Let the sun rise over the redwoods
I'll rise with it till I rise no more"
Talk to Me of Mendocino, Kate McGarrigle

Will miss you Kate, love you always.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fcBEGjK3cM

Fucking Democrats lost the 60th seat tonight, Ted Kennedy's.  Served them right.  Wake up before November please.
Sunday, nothing, save Roy Hargrove blowing it out at Yoshi's.  Started and ended with Crazy Race.  Monster monster sound.  Renee and Goapele absolutely stunning; oh yeah.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJNN-YmaJ8I&feature=related
Monday, Kbell session with Cinco and Cecilia T.  George may yet become a convert.  CT, very stylish in her Lulu Lemon long coat, kicking Cinco's ass.  That studio is a sanctuary.  Later, 300 24kg swings in the cold damp entrance to the Margaret Todd Senior Center, while Brigid was in basketball practice.  Cold, outside, alone, alive.
Today, went like this
15 hindu pushups
10+10 TRX split squats
3+3,2+2, 24 kg clean to press, to 2+2 32kg push press
10 16kg bootstrap squats
3x
5+5+5+5 windmills, 16 kg upper and lower
2+2+2+2 TGU, 24kg
30 sec TRX mountain climbers
10+10 TRX woodchoppers, those feel so good after a day at the computer they ought to be illegal.
3x
ended fucking around on trx while the twenty somethings ate healthy food and drank too much.

Better

 

"I'll play it first and tell you what it is later."
Miles Davis

Roy Hargrove Quintet playing Soulful, which is what they closed with last week, leaving the stage one by one until it was just the piano player, riffing on the melody, everyone in the house still, hushed, and smiling. Then all spilling into the street, elated.  And we get to do it again tomorrow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW4CCWDAcHw 

Week of horrendous work stuff, adults treating each other very badly.  In the face of the mind boggling suffering going on now it is hard not to lose patience; people just need to get some fucking perspective.

No kettlebells, will pick up bells for first time in ten days tomorrow.  Week tally was 23 miles on various apparatus, three yoga classes, and a great hour long TRX session, courtesy of JH, and a couple of 15 minute core sessions.  TRX was by far the highlight.  New fitness manager is a decent enought yoga teacher but can't tell her left from her right.  MH's class so packed Friday he was turning folks away, still had the eye to coach a inch and a half adjustment out of me in warrior three which was good of him.

The Five Best Words

“To a father growing old nothing is dearer than a daughter.”

Euripides

It's cloying and cliche but that does nothing to dilute the truth of it.  The  five best words are not "I will always love you", we expect that, but don't dare take it for granted.  The five best words are not "Remember the time when we . . ."  Those are nice, but are an articulation of a memory.  Sweet, but no anticipation.

No, the five best words, hands down, are: "Can we do this again."  She says that, buddy you hit it out of the park.

Which was Brigid's comment right after Roy Hargrove left the stage at Yoshi's SF early Sunday eve.  Stunning, stunning set. Walking out onto Fillmore, her gushing (and she never gushes) "you have no idea how much I loved that, you really don't"  No, I don't and you don't either, and you never will and yeah, thanks to Roy's residency we can do it next week.  If it's half as good it'd be worth twice the price and in the end it's priceless.

Sunday, Marsh walk and brunch with Cinco and Mark M.  Beautiful soggy walk, laughing all the way.

Monday, pain in the side receding, but you are not going to take the bait.

Six miles, three on stupid new elliptical machines, two on the  stair mill, and one on old elliptical.  30 minute body weight circuit like this:

5+5 pushups to a T

15+15 Bulgarian split squats

Seated Rows, 10, buncha weight

30 box squats

3x

10+10 single leg deads, bodyweight

10 kneeling on 65cm ball, 9lb medicine ball front raises

2x

Yeah, nice memories old man, but ya' still broke yourself and have to suck for a bit.

 

 

Well F**K

"A man should stir himself with poetry
stand firm in ritual
complete himself in music."
Lun Yu, quoted by Gary Snyder in Earth House Hold (1969)

Assuming ritual is even an accurate translation, in 200 BC the word "ritual" was probably referring to something like the primary definition which is "an established form for ceremony."  But "ritual" is also a term used by psychologists to describe behaviors associated with obsessive compulsive disorders and though I'd always loved that teaching and assumed the former definition was what resonated, it would be a fair inquiry as to whether the modern definition is more applicable to the specifics where yours truly is concerned.
Thursday am, intended to circuit train; and did for a fair bit which went like this:
15 Hindu pushups
5 16kg GS and raise to squat
3+3+2 16, 24, 32 presses, each side, 32 being push presses
30 walking lunges
3x
wanted 200 swings, which was going to 10 24kg+10 32kg, the 20 sec rest x 10
C'ept on swing 113 felt a sharp pull in my right rib cage and that was all she wrote.  Ouch, still, two days later.
But, yoga Thursday pm which felt pretty good.
Friday
30min on stairmill, 2.5 miles elliptical, nada mas
Today, thee mile marsh walk.
Gonna hurt for a while here.  No bells, body weight only, maybe TRX.
Next time, listen to yourself.  F**k.

All Good People

"Take a straight and stronger course to the corner of your life."
Jon Anderson, Seen All Good People

The moss on the rocks on that one stretch of trail on Burdell has got to be three inches thick.  Brigid can't wait to sit on it; her butt wet, nosing around like she is looking for treasure.  The latest career fancy is geologist; I can think of few finer, so so long as she is working for the USGS, stationed near Moab, where she can bike, and I can visit, and its close to Green River where I can camp with the dog and swing kettlebells at sunset on the beach by the BLM campground few seem to know about.   Please don't have her working for whatever large energy company exists in ten years.

Gym is fucking packed.  This is the fourth New Year's since Conversion and never seen anything like it.  Lockers are jammed, showers with a wait.  MH's Wednesday yoga class suddenly full of strangers, no one fessing up to being new, but gasping after five minutes.  He handles it all so coolly; just wanna tell these folks, be weak, its ok, it is what you are, but you can get stronger, its all here for you and your body, that wonderful instrument that is you, will respond.  Check the ego at the door.  Find a guide.  Pay him or her often.  Commit.
Just fucking do it.

But as crowded as the gym is, no more are swinging bells.  They are all lined up at machines, my little corner of the world is pretty much unchanged.
I truly wish them all well.  Hope they figure it out 'cause if it got so crowded I had to bail, I would be just fine with four bells and a yoga mat.  But they won't; the managers tell me: "three weeks, and it all goes back to normal DT."  Which is fine, except they locked these poor saps into 12 month contracts.  Cynical; they sell these people with success stories, and then plan for their failure.
Monday, five miles, no more, bummer.
Tuesday, 7:00 am yoga with the soft-spoken Ericka. Good class but at my age 7:00 yoga is rough.
Evening like this
10+10 24kg chest press, to ten pushups
10 GS and back to squat, 16kg
5+5+5+5 BUP in lunge, 12 kg
15+15 step back lunges, body weight
3x
Windmills, 5+5+5+5, 16kg in up and down hands
10+10+10+10 snatches, 16kg
TGU, 24kg, 2+2+2+2
60 second plank
3x
Wanted to do another 80 snatches to get to 200, and started but gave up after additional 10.  Body talking and decided to listen.
Today, four miles, and MH class.  Both great.
Don't give up but don't get in my way.

The Little Engine That Could

"Just don't tell him it's a musical, cause then he might kill us all."
Jed Whedon, Dr. Horrible's Sing A Long Blog, Commentary

Two at home kbell workouts in a row prompts Ian's commentary: "Oh Dad, are you going to be the little engine that could, that's so nice . . . "  What's nice is that by the time they reach almost 17, you can tell them to fuck off.  Lovingly.
Saturday, into SF for first yoga of 2010.  Resolution: do this more often.  Good class, heavy on the upper body, felt really strong.  Then two mile hill hike with Rose and Brigid.  Burdell is stunning right now, but picked five ticks off the dog later.  Sigh.
Then 25 minute swing session before crab at Anne's.  200 20kg swings, five goblet squats to five whatever those things are called when you straighten out and swing back to squat, after each 20 swings.  Good mobility drill.

Today.  90 minute parking lot call took the place of marsh walk, Rose absolutely disgusted.
Later, went like this:
7+8 pushups, one foot up and switch
five goblet squats to five whatever those things are called when you straighten out and swing back to squat, 20 kg
3+5+2 military /push press, 16, 20, 28
20 tactical lunges, 20 kg
3x
Swing/TGU session
10 20kg, 1+1 20kg TGU, 10 28kg, 1+1 20kg TGU
x 8
20 20kg, 20 28 kg, just to get to 200 on the swings.
Yes, little engine that could, fuck you, love ya' always.

2010

"Take it easy, but take it."
Pete Seeger
Don't know what that means, the take it easy part, but will try to figure it out along the way.  Wanna get stronger, and better in 2010 despite fighting the clock.  Look to Pete and his ornery, nasty optimism for inspiration.  Work hard and don't fuck up or hurt yourself.  Don't whine.  Don't use I and me so much.  Be amused, often.

Wednesday, six miles and a great yoga class.
Thursday, ct session.  Fun.  Tangible things to work on; feels good laying on that wooden floor and glad to have met her and her oddness.
Thursday night, Brigid off to friends, Ian off with his mother, alone with Barry.  Have Townes' "Loretta" stuck in the head and spent time combing You Tube for various versions.
Townes was a poet down to the depths of his soul and is to be treasured.  On October 2, 2009 was nearly ballin' like a baby listening to Lyle Lovett and John Prine sing that tune, arms wrapped around Barry in the park, him settling back.  None of the resistance of the younger two, though he might be better for it.  One of the highlights of the year.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0z--R0ErV8.  And for good measure.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D35zZkxA9PQ&feature=related

Today, Burdell hike with Ian and Rose, but he won't get in the frame.  Oaks and California Laurel in the rain.  Gorgeous.  Find Neko Cases' cover of Nervous Eater's "Loretta" on Itunes.  Smokes; I'll take that one too.

Later, move wood piles around while Rose supervises, make chili with Brigid, she gives me a foot massage and watch LOTR, Fellowship.  Looks a lot like Burdell.
Good start.