Kicking At Darkness

"I had another dream about lions at the door
they weren't half as frightening as they were before
but i'm thinking about eternity
some kind of ecstasy got a hold on me."
Bruce Cockburn, Wondering Where the Lions Are
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL4CdHd9ma4

Some songs immediately take you to the place you heard them, which for Bruce's only close to commercial hit is a kitchen in Arcata in 1979 at a potluck at the home of three lovely coeds, and later in the mid 1990's the kids' bedroom on 43rd Ave, doing the nightly reading/songfest.
Bruce goes to the gym, keeps very much to himself, doubt anyone knows who he is or his remarkable career.  Walking out Friday, told him about 43rd Avenue, he beamed broadly and thanked me for speaking up and said he was glad I used it and seemed genuinely pleased.

Nothing Thursday, shadow day at MSA for Brigid, working from various parking lots in Novato, thanks to AT&T suckness.
Friday, four miles in am, back at three for:
15 deep slow pushups, one foot up, switch at 7
30 walking lunges
10+10 bent over rows, body as bench, 60lb dumbell
20 tactical lunges, 16kg
3x
10+10x2 16kg snatches
20 32kg swings
2+2x2 24kg TGU
10 reverse pull ups off of smith machine, feet on box, stay hard
3x
Yoga this am.  Four trainers in the room and MH pushed it very hard.

Home, moving the woodpile around.  Doorbell rings, Cop.  "Brigid Tillotson's dad ?"  Yes.  "Have you heard from her ?"  Instant fear, No.  "She was in Target with her friend and friend's mom, and they turned around and she was gone."  Brigid would not have left without telling someone, I tell the cop.  "Come with me."  I am running through Target, we are in the security room looking at video tape.  I am trying not to lose it, no one has seen her for over an hour.  Her cell phone is dead.  Her friend comes in, a kid I do not know and I don't like the look of the mom.  Cop says to the friend, tell me exactly what happened last time you saw her.  "We were looking at clothes and I turned around and she was gone."  They try to establish a chronology, the small room is getting smaller, I am trying to find her mother, this sounds completely fucked up, my daughter does not just disappear.  I can hear mall security combing a twenty acre shopping center.  All I can think about is amber alerts and bad endings.
Twenty minutes later there is a radio call, cops back at home report she showed up, she is at home.  I look at the floor, so they don't see me crying.  Cop:  "Just give me your license, you don't need to talk."
I get home, Brigid says her friend was ragging on her to get her ears pierced and try on make-up, friend told her I don't like you , you are such a tomboy.  Brigid says she told her friend she was leaving, and going home, and her friend was supposed to tell the mom, Brigid had walked home.  She was incredulous that her friend had lied about what had happened.
I make her favorite dinner and don't let her more than five feet away.  We will soon be eating cherry pie.